Good news everybody. I have it from an indisputable source, Rush Limbaugh, that the Iraqi War has ended and that we have won. Rush didn’t say how he knew, just that it was over and we won. He also didn’t say what it is that we have won – that is to say what did we win by winning the war. He told me and millions of others just a couple of days ago on his radio show that it was over and we had won.
Maybe I can help him add up the score.
We killed more of them than they killed of us. Why not call that a win? There could be a problem though. How many killed Iraqi’s count as one killed American? And does civilian casualties count? Since about 65% of the dead Iraqi’s are women and children how does that fit into the equation? And I guess all this killing has to count after the invasion because they didn’t kill any of us before we invaded. I’ll ask Rush, you know he’ll have an answer. Possibly he can blame the Democrats (Pinko Liberals in Rush talk). That’s the tone of his bark lately.
We dropped more bombs on them than they did on us. Now that’s an easy one to prove, since they didn’t have an air force, well I guess they couldn’t have dropped any. We sure got them beat to hell on that one. That makes it two to nothing.
Can we count that we destroyed their Weapons of Mass Destruction? Does the fact that they didn’t have any to begin with change the equation? Maybe Rush can convince everyone that just because we haven’t found them in six years doesn’t really mean they are not there – buried somewhere under the sands. He’s got the ditto heads believing it, why not the rest of us. Three to nothing.
And finally Regime change. Won that too. Rush won’t admit that the Regime change we just had came as a result of the immoral war we foisted on the Iraqis. But wait, there’s a challenge that I just heard from back yonder somewhere. There I heard it again. Some feller is questioning how we can count Regime change since Saddam offered to go into exile a couple of weeks before the invasion? Can we count a Regime change when it wasn’t necessary? Rush says don’t believe it if it doesn’t come from the EIB network. Makes sense to me. Would Rush lie?
So we won the War. At least somebody did. The War Industry sure did. Since the war is going to cost us taxpayers about $3 Trillion (but not the War Industry) and since the Economy went into a tank, and since Bush scrubbed many of our Constitutional rights, and since our everyday lives are spied on, and since we accept torture as a practice, and since we lost more than 4100 souls, and since we have adopted the use of Mercenaries to replace our National Army, and since we have more than 30,000 permanently scarred injured soldiers, and since we have lost our moral standing in the world, do these things count against us?
If I give Regime change a point, then that makes four for wining the war. But if I count the negatives above, I count nine against. Did we really lose the war by a score of 9-4? If we won the war, just what is it that we won. Rush? Somebody? Anybody?
By the way Rush, is it really over. Bite my lying tongue? Sorry Rush I should have know better than to question the great blimp. Oh yeah Rush, would you tell Hannity I said hello?
3 comments ↓
An indisputable source! Haha, that’s satire at its finest. well don sir
They’ve been telling us this thing is over for ages, or over soon. Mission Accomplished, Troop Drawdowns, Iraqi Elections, Surges, and on and on and on and …on.
But the reality is that even Obama’s “responsible drawdown” is going to continue the occupation of Iraq. As long as there’s an occupying force, there will be resistance and war.
The time to end this war is now. Withdraw all the troops today, not tomorrow. Not in the fall, not after more Iraqis are killed. Now.
Yes Mike and of course you are right. The most honest answer is that it shouldn’t have ever happened. But since it did, the next best thing is to end it now, as you say. What a tragedy this war is. Death and destruction of a people who didn’t have a thing to do with 9/11, had no Al-Queda network, and had no WMD. So Bush invaded and is responsible for a million deaths, four million displaced families, and a completely destroyed infrastructure, the obvious question is why?
Thank you Crystal. What a lying creep the drug king blimpo is. And to think, he is the beacon of truth for millions of Republicans.
Just think these loyal Rush fans helped enable Bush in his immoral sacking of Iraq. Get rid of the Republican Party. It is a shameful blot on America.
Crystal and Mike you should have heard Hannity yesterday. He got so flustered at a caller-in. That caller had the gall to tell him the Republicans and der Bush brought great damage to America.
I could hear Hannity frothing at the mouth as he called the called everything except a human. Yes Hannity asserts in a rage, it was those Liberal Democrats who brought this Nation down over the last eight years.
Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee. Rush and Hannity. Republicans and Democrats. We deserve better. Maybe we should insist on better. Now there’s a novel idea!
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